Hello, my name is Beefcake McAssMuffin. Before reading this, I advise you have a parent with you, because this shit is about to get real spoopy.
I was only 9 years old in 2012. I was searching up my favorite internet cancer, like Gangnam Style and Annoying Orange like the little fagass I was, when suddenly, the internet started to slowdown. Pages that loaded in the blink of an eye started to take 12 seconds to load. I was starting to get really scared, when suddenly, I got a message from the toolbar...
"THE INTERNET HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED."
I was hyperventilating at this point. I was a fat, lonely, nerdy little shit who has used the internet in all my free time. I've never seen a message like this! I was on the brink of screaming and crying. "M-Maybe the internet will comeback soon...?" I thought to my self.
10 minutes have passed, it still wasn't back. I was writing all over the walls in my own blud after I cut myself.
20 minutes passed, I was ready to go crazy, I began to bang on the computer. That's when the screen broke. I was on full-on rage. I used the keyboard, which was once my weapon as a Social Justice Warrior, and I slammed it right into the computer! Glass was everywhere...
I haven't said a word for what felt like an hour... I slowly got the courage to get up. I was sobbing, but at the same time... laughing. I began to laugh like a maniac, and after 30 minutes with my handy-dandy stopwatch, my dad walked in on me.
I didn't hesitate, I took the keyboard and murdered my father with it! It felt satisfying! I went to murder my mother next! I laughed like a maniac, and I somehow gained the power to become an invincible superhuman. The FBI came over, and I killed them all! And now... I am going to kill the next person who reads this story.
Your next!!!